Comparison | Noun – the act or instance of comparing
Comparison, it’s everywhere. How do we escape it? Can we escape it? I’d be lying to ya’ll if I said I didn’t struggle with comparison. It’s certainly not as bad as it used to be, but moments still occur. I actually feel like comparison has only occurred as of late because we’re all at home. The ability to be out and about in my opinion reduces comparison because I haven’t had enough time to let it sink in. I’m already on to the next thing in my life, but being at home has definitely brought back up some old feelings that require work to manage.
It’s not enough to just say or decide that you’re not going to compare yourself to others, reducing comparison comes with actively acknowledging where comparison began for you. Each of us compares or has, but where did you first notice yourself feeling inadequate or not enough? Once you can identify the root of it all, reducing comparison becomes more real and attainable. That said I’m sharing 4 ways to reduce comparison in your life.
Locate the Root of Your Comparison
My comparison began in elementary school. We didn’t look how kids look today when we were younger. I always had cute clothes, but I was a black girl at a predominately white school and while I had plenty of friends, there is still a level of comparison that occurs. I’m also a former soccer player, so again, being the only black girl in a sport where there is very few of us, not only did I compare myself, my desire to be better than everyone else ultimately led to a thriving athletic career, but also an issue with perfectionism.
Being “the only” lead to comparison because there was no one else, that looked like me, to match or meet me on my level. Saying all of that to say, you have to identify where comparison showed up in your life. It most likely happened pre-social media. Maybe someone said you weren’t good enough, maybe you were picked last or picked on. Whatever the circumstance, to be fully present and understand the root of your comparison is key to healing and moving past it.
Meditate on What God Says About You
Spending time in God’s word and reflecting on my life as a whole so many things make sense. There are so many things that add up even when I try to subtract them. In one of the devotionals I’ve read called Just Think: From God’s Heart to Yours, one of the lessons was, He compares you to no one else – you are one of a kind. Do you truly believe you are one of kind? Comparison will have you feeling like “no one cares that I do this,” “so many other people do this what makes me special?” and if you’re not aware you will start to believe it.
Reading the Word of God is effortless, putting up quotes and sharing them on stories requires no work. It’s the ACTION of believing by faith and walking it out that really reduces comparison. Though I have my moments of comparison, being able to acknowledge and pin point what that is, instead of just wishing it away is essential. Say what the Word says out loud, repeat it, write it down, when comparison comes speak the things that God says about you over it. Only the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. It’s God who wants abundance for you.
Take Social Breaks
Social Media certainly has it’s place, but it also can be a lot if you don’t manage your use. I like to remind people to use social media, don’t let it use you. Comparison comes from consuming more than you create. If you’re focused on creating you can’t over consume; likewise if all you do is consume, by the time it’s your turn to create, comparison is consuming you and you start to feel like what you’re doing isn’t good enough.
The fact that we are still in a pandemic and all we can do is use social media, the opportunity to compare is even greater. Make sure you take those breaks, make sure you acknowledge that it’s a bit much for you. You don’t have to tell the world, but being able to identify what is a trigger for comparison helps reduce it.
Focus on Goals You’ve Actually Set
Comparison is so interesting; we start out with our own set of goals and ideals and along the way we start seeing others version of success or goals and manage to forget our own. Just because success for someone looks like a building a house ground up doesn’t mean that your goal of buying a town home or condo is less than. What is it that you wanted when you started your journey online? What were your original goals for all of this?
If you can stay focused on and/or return to those goals when you start to feel comparison creeping in, you have a much better chance of bringing yourself back to your reality and realizing there is nothing to compare at all. God isn’t a liar and He shows no partiality; whatever He can do in someone else’s life, He can absolutely do in yours, but don’t let the habit of comparing make you change your original plan.
You truly have a great thing going, don’t let comparison rob you of your experience and journey.