Long Engagement?!! (In my Soulja Boy voice). Most people think it’s weird to wait a long or extended time period to get married and the number one question(s) we have gotten is “Why wait?” or “What’s the hold up?” or “Whose idea was that?”. I always like to think well what’s the rush? It’s kind of a game now, we both say random stuff just to throw people off.
A long engagement is something we had always talked about before we even got engaged. It’s pretty funny because we had also talked about the year 2020 as well, but before we were engaged it seemed like 2020 was so far away. On the contrary I’m really happy we waited because a lot of things took place in that wait and now everything is falling into place and it all feels right. Today I’m sharing 4 reasons we wanted a long engagement.
Long Engagement’s Are Like Being Engaged Twice
I’ve been with my now fiance for almost 9 years; 9 years this month actually. Due to the fact that we had planned on having a long engagement the anticipation around us getting married never really “died down” because every time people saw us together we weren’t married yet, so essentially it has always been something to look forward to.
We got engaged in 2017 and that was super exciting especially because it was a long time coming, my fiance’s best friends knew while I had no idea so all of that was actually very special. Then as the year went on and other friends got engaged, it became more of a time that was fun to be apart of because our big moments intertwined and we got to enjoy that time as friends.
Now that we have picked a date, some friends have gotten married and/or are getting closer to their wedding date, we are in what feels like a second wave of excitement because our time is almost here. Everyone that has asked, that has wondered, that was curious doesn’t have to wonder anymore because it’s set in stone now and that’s pretty dope.
Long Engagement’s Allow You to Save (For Couples and Families)
People love to question why something isn’t happening, but have no plans to contribute in any way. Having a long engagement is a good way for everyone involved to have a chance to save. A lot has happened in the last 2 years of our personal lives, lives as a couple and our families lives as well and it actually has worked in our favor to wait. A lot of help has been offered already and it’s really nice to be able to get what we wanted instead of feeling like we have to cut back or not have a wedding at all.
Most people that found out we were having a long engagement ended up saying things like “I wish I would have waited”, “Don’t rush” etc. Everyone’s experience is their own and I just knew that I didn’t want to let outside pressure cause us to do what we never intended on doing in the first place.
Long Engagement’s Give You Time to Attend Other Weddings and Check Out Current Trends
A long engagement has really allowed me the time to see what it is I want; I’ve always had this idea of what my wedding would be and look like (that’s the event planner in me). I used to really want a Fall wedding; nobody could talk me out of having my gorgeous jewel-toned Fall wedding and honestly now that we’re having a Spring wedding, I couldn’t be happier. I think I used to want to follow a trend, but now I just really want a vibe and style that expresses our love.
Having our friends get married before us has been really helpful as well. It has allowed us to see what was trending, allowed us to decide on what we wanted and didn’t want, the flow of things, what we would change for our own day and really give us the freedom to plan our wedding in a way that works best for us.
A long engagement allowed me to be open to the idea of doing something different, experiencing and creating something different than what I had been planning via Pinterest. Our venue is gorgeous and I never thought I would want to build off of that environment so much with such unique and fun colors. My biggest thing has been to stay away from traditional colors and songs. It’s been fun.
Long Engagement’s Equal Less Pressure
We’ve actually found that a long engagement has really allowed the pressure of a wedding to fall away. The early stages of “are we invited” and “can’t wait to come” kind of die down because it’s been a while and people either forget or stop caring. This in my opinion has worked in our favor as far as our guest list because that early pressure is gone and 2 years later the connections may have changed or fallen off.
There are a lot of moving parts when it comes to wedding planning and whether people mean well or not, I’m really happy to have that pressure off of me. Not only is that pressure not there, we’re literally getting married around the same time as our friends so maybe we’re actually doing it right. The only thing I care about is my future husband and our special day. I’m super excited to get married, glad we have taken our time and through it all I’ve learned more than ever that your time and your journey is your own. There is no need to compare yourselves.
Don’t let your families rush you, don’t let people pressure you into doing things their way. I know there are traditions and customs and all kinds of things, but if you can definitely put your foot down and let people know what you and your future husband want.