“All changes even the most longed for have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” – Anatole France
Ya’ll I’m about to get all the way real with you. As amazing as 2017 has been, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and mourning behind the scenes. I’ve been mourning the fact that I don’t want to make a living off of what I went to school for. I know I’m not the first person to decide that or the first person to go to school for one thing to only end up doing something completely different, but for me personally that was something that was hard to come to terms with.
I’m pretty meticulous when it comes to having a plan, I like to be in control of my situations and I like to know what I’m going to do. So for me, having made a plan, completing everything that I set out for in that plan, only to realize that I don’t feel deeply about it was pretty devastating. I know that events will always be a part of my life and I’m looking forward to planning for one of the biggest moments in my life, but I don’t believe that events full time is what I’m called to do.
That brings me to where I am currently and the direction I’m going in; Lifestyle Blogging. I couldn’t shake blogging if I wanted to; the desire to share and not just to be talking, but to share and hopefully change lives is indescribable. Being saved and having gone on missions trips I’ve realized how important sharing is because someone needs what I have. Someone else shared so that I could be reached and that I could become the person that I am today.
I mentioned a while back that I was going to be sharing my journey of wedding planning and engagement and that is still true; in fact I’m even more excited about it because you basically get to live out that experience with me. Not only will I be sharing my lifestyle, you’ll get a glimpse of my love for God, food, self care, shoes, fitness and travel. I’m going to be sharing all of my tips and tricks, favorite spots and so much more. The thought of being able to share things that I know will help people is dope.
I shared all of this because I needed a moment to be honest and to own the fact that I was devastated; while yes it’s all good and this too shall pass, I needed to mourn what I thought I wanted my life to be. The beauty in all of it is God; he has plans way bigger than I could even imagine and while I dealt with this in the physical, spiritually I’m at peace. This is your reminder that it is okay to change your mind or be led to do something different. That is the beauty in seasons; seasons aren’t just a part of nature they are for us too. To grow and to evolve and to become better than who we were or who we thought we wanted to be.
“It is never too late to be what you might have been”.
– George Eliot